Decision-making guide
Core values for decision making when the tradeoffs are real
Many decisions feel confusing because the options are visible but the values are still blurry. A better process starts by choosing the 3 to 5 values that should have the most influence on the result, then turning those values into criteria you can score honestly across every real option.
Values versus criteria
Your values explain why something matters. Your criteria explain what you will score.
| If the value is | The criteria might be |
|---|---|
| Stability | Job security, monthly cost, schedule predictability, downside risk. |
| Growth | Skill development, long-term upside, exposure, learning curve. |
| Family alignment | Family impact, travel burden, location fit, caregiving flexibility. |
| Freedom | Autonomy, flexibility, reversibility, control over schedule. |
| Integrity | Ethical fit, mission fit, trust, transparency, promises kept. |
A practical core values list for one decision
You do not need a list of 100 words to make one choice. Start with categories like these, then keep only the ones that would genuinely change the outcome:
- Stability: security, predictability, resilience, lower downside.
- Growth: learning, advancement, challenge, long-term upside.
- Relationships: family impact, team quality, trust, community fit.
- Freedom: flexibility, autonomy, time control, optionality.
- Stewardship: cost discipline, resource use, sustainability, responsibility.
- Meaning: purpose, alignment, contribution, pride in the choice.
- Health and energy: stress load, recovery, pace, sustainability.
- Simplicity: lower complexity, fewer dependencies, easier execution.
- Adventure: novelty, exploration, boldness, stretch.
- Excellence: quality, craftsmanship, standards, performance.
How to clarify values without overcomplicating it
- Circle 8 to 10 possible values. Use the decision in front of you, not your ideal identity in the abstract.
- Cut the list to 3 to 5. If everything is important, nothing is ranked.
- Test each value against a real reversal. Ask,
If this option won but violated this value, would I still trust the result? - Translate each value into something scoreable. Turn
freedominto schedule flexibility or exit cost, not a vague feeling. - Rank the values before scoring. This prevents a favorite option from quietly rewriting the rubric.
How to rank values without getting stuck
Many people can name values but still freeze when two good things conflict. A simple values hierarchy solves that problem better than a giant personal values list.
- Ask what still matters after the decision is made. Short-term excitement often drops; long-term fit usually does not.
- Name one or two non-negotiables. These are the values you are not willing to violate just to make the score look cleaner.
- Separate must-haves from nice-to-haves. If a value matters only after stability or integrity is already protected, rank it lower.
- Use a tie-break question. Ask,
If two options tied on everything else, which value would decide it?
Non-negotiable values versus flexible preferences
A values ranking becomes more useful when you separate the values you must honor from the values you are willing to trade away if the overall fit is better.
| Type | What it means | Example prompt |
|---|---|---|
| Non-negotiable value | If the option violates this, you would not trust the result even if the score looked strong. | Would I still say yes if this option failed on integrity or family alignment? |
| High-priority value | This should carry major weight, but it can be balanced against another top value. | How much growth am I willing to trade for more stability? |
| Flexible preference | This matters, but only after the top values are protected. | If the best option is less convenient, is that acceptable? |
A simple values hierarchy example
This is what a usable decision values list looks like when it is specific enough to guide a real choice:
| Priority | Value | Why it outranks the next one |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Family alignment | If the option damages the daily family reality, the rest of the upside does not matter enough. |
| 2 | Integrity | The choice needs to match the commitments you can defend after the decision is public. |
| 3 | Stability | Lower downside still matters more than speed or prestige in this scenario. |
| 4 | Growth | Growth matters, but only after the top constraints are protected. |
Common mistakes
- Choosing values that sound admirable but do not actually drive this decision.
- Using broad words like
bestorsuccesswithout defining what they mean here. - Letting one temporary emotion outrank a value that still matters after the decision is made.
- Skipping the status quo even though doing nothing is a real option.
- Calling something a non-negotiable only after a favorite option starts losing.
Frequently asked questions
What are core values for decision making?
They are the few principles that should carry the most influence in a specific choice, such as stability, family alignment, growth, or integrity.
How many values should you use?
Usually three to five. More than that hides the real tradeoffs and makes the ranking too soft to guide a real decision.
What is the difference between values and criteria?
Values explain why something matters. Criteria explain what you will score. A value like freedom can become criteria such as schedule flexibility, location control, or exit cost.
What are non-negotiable values?
They are the values you are not willing to violate even if another option looks attractive on paper. Naming them early keeps the rubric honest.
How do you rank values without overthinking it?
Ask which value still matters most after the decision is made, which value you would refuse to trade away, and which value matters only if the top priorities are already protected.
Where Big Nate's Decision Maker fits
Big Nate's Decision Maker is built for this exact handoff: choose what matters, force-rank the values, score real options against those priorities, and review a structured recommendation with the tradeoffs still visible.
Values-based decision making →